The Joy of Single Parent Sex - really

By Peter Ehrlich

Talk about an oxymoron and a book title not yet found on any shelf: The Joy of Single Parent Sex.

Surely it's more relevant to single moms and dads to discuss the angst, court system, and the struggle to find a common ground with our Ex for the sake of our children.

Neither "single parent hedonism" nor "single parent sex" is found on Google. But "grandparents and sex" is. Up popped "grandparents caught in compromising position on the beach".

I take great delight in finding something positive in an unexpected place, such as when I was 13 and found a Playboy magazine tucked into Uncle Moe's bookshelf.

Years later, the unexpected place is the single parent home and the subject is sex.

Here is why I think there is joy in single parent sex:

When you're out on a date and the person opposite you looks as perfect as a hot cup of coffee on a Sunday morning before the kids are awake, you can both talk about how you love your kids and actually get turned on a little more because knowing your date or lover, like you, loves their children, is wonderful common ground.

There is little chance either of you is a swinger because a great single parent can't possibly have the time. And both of you will likely greatly appreciate the sex, as in "Thank you, Lord."

Because the interval between sexual encounters is likely to be months or (gulp), years, each time is, well, like the first time. There is no way any single parent is going to approach sex with the words: "Oh yawn, I have to have sex again."

And so, each roll in the hay, assuming the affection is mutual as it should be, is engaged in with great enthusiasm. You and your mate can bring your cellphones to the night table, both of you understanding it's perfectly fine if your sex is interrupted by a phone call from either the babysitter or your teenager who is drunk and needs you to pick her up.

Not only would such an interruption not be a reason to get angry with the partner who must put their clothes back on after finally locating their underwear buried in the bedclothes, but in no time – say, the next day – it would also be an anecdote to share a laugh about.

You can tell anyone – the most cynical people you know, even your parents – that you had sex and they'll be happy for you.

There are many reasons to be grateful for and inspired by your single parenthood. It can be a rewarding lifestyle, regardless of the fact that "woe is me" is too often attached to our current lot in life. (We'll visit those reasons in subsequent columns.)

But for now, it's summer, it's hot, you're hot, and every magazine out there talks about the joy of sex or how to have great sex.

I wanted to pay homage to the sex life of the world's fastest growing family configuration, single parents.

We know all about sex. None of us is a virgin.

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